After blogging for several years and writing four books about feeding kids, I wanted to condense my advice into top tips. This helps guide newcomers and serve as a reminder for my long-time readers.
So here goes…
1. Structure meals and snacks: Having regular meals and snacks in a designated area, instead of grazing or giving in to food requests, helps children regulate their food intake, ask for food less often and feel secure about eating. According to a 2010 study in Child Care Health Development, the more children accumulated eating behaviors like skipping breakfast, snacking between meals and watching TV while eating, the higher their weights were.
2. Eat together when you can: Make eating together as a family a priority. It may not be possible every day, but do it when you can. Have a big lunch as a family on Saturday. If one parent or child is home late, have dinner with the family members that are there and leave a hot plate for the late one. According to a 2011 study in Pediatrics, families that share at least 3 meals per week have children who eat healthier, are at healthier weights and are less likely to have disordered eating than families who eat together less often.
3. Don’t interfere with eating: Satter’s Division of Responsibility in Feeding — parents take charge of the when, where and what of eating and children get to decide whether and how much to eat — helps children preserve their food regulation skills, builds trust and allows kids to move along food acceptance at their own pace. That means no bribing with dessert, asking for more bites, restricting portions, eating between structured meals or short-order cooking.
4. Serve meals family style: Instead of loading a child’s plate with food, try serving meals in bowls and dishes and allow kids to serve themselves. This not only empowers children with reasonable choice, it helps them regulate their intake and builds confidence at the table.
5. Expose children to a variety of nutritious food: Aim to slowly add meals to your rotation that include a variety of food groups — lean proteins, fruits, vegetables, dairy or non-dairy alternatives, grains and fat. In Fearless Feeding we recommend providing 3-5 food groups at main meals and 2-3 at snack time. A recent study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition showed that offering a variety of vegetables or fruit instead of one type increased kids’ consumption by 24%.
6. Be smart about sweets: When parents reward kids with sweets, take them away for punishment, provide them to make kids feel better or overly restrict or provide too much access them, they make these foods even more desirable to kids. Instead, parents can serve them in a frequency that makes sense for their family, utilize structure and teach kids how to sensibly fit these foods fit into a balanced diet.
7. Teach kids about food before nutrition: Children learn the most about food and nutrition with hands on experiences, like going to the store or the farmer’s market and helping prepare meals. When you gradually teach a child to cook, you teach them a vital self-care skill they will use for life. According to a 2012 study in Public Health with 5th grade students, “Higher frequency of helping prepare and cook food at home was associated with higher fruit and vegetable preference and with higher self-efficacy for selecting and eating healthy foods.”
More reading: Chapters 3 and 4 of Fearless Feeding provides cooking tips and recipes kids can make themselves.
8. Promote body satisfaction and discourage dieting: As children get older they will notice a culture that is obsessed with thinness and start to question the size and shape of their own body. Be there for your child to help filter the messages they hear. Focus on health versus weight and check in with your own body and dieting attitudes.
More reading: Eating Disorder Prevention Series, The New Year’s Resolution Every Parent on the Planet Should Make and Fearless Feeding for examples of what to say and case studies.
9. Use everyday moments to teach about nutrition: Children learn about nutrition simply be seeing which foods are served and how often. The foods you have in your house should be in line with your beliefs about food and nutrition. They will go out into the world and notice the difference and this is where you can gradually teach them about nutrition. They will ask and you will answer.
More reading: 5 Motivational Techniques that Will Transform Your Child’s Eating, 5 Mistakes Parents Make When Educating Their Child About Nutrition and Fearless Feeding for age-specific nutrition teaching examples.
10. Be the eater you want your kids to be: When parents come to me worried about their kids eating I tell them what I know to be true — your kids are very likely to end up eating like you. If you are happy with the way you eat, that’s great. If you aren’t, work to change it. Your happiness and health matter too.
More reading: 5 Ways Parenthood Can Transform Your Health, 7 Simple Ways Dads Can Positively Influence Their Kid’s Health and chapter 6 (The Parent Trap) of Fearless Feeding.
11. Teach kids to tune into their body: Researchers at the University of Minnesota found that young adults who use hunger and fullness to guide eating not only have a lower body mass index but are less likely to have disordered eating (the girls who listened to their body were also less likely to binge-eat and diet). Yet research shows that 85% of parents of young children try to get their children to eat more at mealtime and parents of big eaters often use restriction. When parents, instead, honor their child’s feelings of hunger and fullness they give them a gift they will use for life.
12. Understand how development relates to eating: There’s a reason your 15 month old accepts most foods and your 4 year old is more selective. Most of these things can be explained in terms of a child’s development and growth. Knowing what to expect, instead of being blindsided, helps parents become more confident and effective feeders.
13. Identify how to meet nutritional needs: Many feeding mistakes are made in the name of “nutrition.” Understanding how to meet your child’s nutrition needs, which is often easier than parents think, will help calm your fears and make you a better feeder.
14. Serve food with an expectant attitude: No matter how many times your child has refused a food, always serve it with the expectation that they will eat it. When parents avoid the “picky eating” label and raise their expectations without exerting force, kids eventually follow suit.
More reading: The Feeding Strategy Every Parent Needs in Their Toolbox, Picky Eating Not Getting Better? 5 Small Changes That Can Make a Big Difference and The Feeding Obstacle that Trips Parents Up (But Shouldn’t)
15. Embrace cooking: Parents spend a huge chunk of their time shopping, preparing and serving meals. As I see it we have a choice. We can hate every minute of it or embrace our role as provider. For me, 2014 is all about celebrating my role as the family cook (stay tuned for some major help in this area).
Whether you have been reading since day one or are new hear to Raise Healthy Eaters, thanks for showing up. And if you feel this site has helped you, feel free to share this post in with your friends and family.